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Midwest Spartan: What Would You Do for a Free Bottle of Body Wash?


                       

I’ve been doing obstacle races for less then a year.  My life has changed over the last year and much of it has to do the my Body Transformation.  The transformation has helped me live my life the way that I would like to live it.  I take opportunities that i would have let go in the past.  These races have become a challenge for me.  They have provided me with competition.  Something that was missing in my life.

The Spartan was an awesome race.  So far it has been the most challenging race that I have competed in.  It was also different running with a team (Team Dial for Men).  I met some great people at this race.  When I pulled in it was around 40 degrees, 

people were coming in from the earlier waves and  most of them looked pretty cold.  I met the rest of my team which included 5 other guys.  We had our “Before” picture taken as a group and were told that we had to run together as a team.  When we finished we would have our “After” picture taken.  

We ran for a couple of miles before we actually hit any water.  We ran through it to get around a group of people who were backed up on a hill.  Traffic jams can be frequent at some of these races, so you look for the way around them.  Usually the way around them is through water, mud or up a steeper part of the hill.  Anything to keep moving.  As cold as it was outside, I was hoping to stay dry a little longer but part of the challenge is to keep moving at a good pace.  Not long after that it wasn’t going to matter anyway.  We were running close to a creek and came upon our first barbed wire challenge.  The wire was low and we had to commando crawl to get through it.  I should mention that we were crawling across rock and mud.  The mud kept making me think of Bill Cosby.  “Whatcha gotta do, ya see is dip the spoon in the pudding”.  This stuff was thick and unlike pudding I had rocks digging into my elbows and knees.   Every once in a while I would smash my balls on a rock sticking up out of the mud.  We got through the 50 foot crawl and were a little bit colder than when we went in.  That’s ok we were still moving and the mud that dried on my skin became insulation

for me.  However, what was stuck to my clothing was still cold.  Not long after it dried we were hitting water again.  Some of my favorite obstacles are 7 and 8 foot walls..  Jump up and pull yourself over.  Before my transformation this might have been pretty difficult.  Not so bad anymore.  The only bad part is the crushed nuts as you flip over the wall.  Between the walls and the barbed wire I think I limped away about 4 times because of the torture my balls.  Maybe next time I will wear a cup.

Other challenges included running across logs, climbing towers, dragging cement blocks attached to chains, carrying sand bags, flipping tires.  One of the toughest obstacles was getting over these raised logs that were 6 feet to 10 feet high.  You could have someone help you get over them.  Unfortunately for us they were wet and as you grabbed onto the you would slide underneath and fall to your death.  I came down and hit hard.  I was already so freaking cold that none of my muscles reacted to my fall.  I came down with a hard thud.  Nice, only 6 more of these.  One of the other guys that was on my team (Brad) launched one of the other guys over a log and he came down head first.  Couldn’t help but laugh.  It was too funny.  I guess one of us on the other side was supposed to catch him.

As we approached the end of the race we came up to another barbed wire section.  This one was about 50 yards.  Being wet and cold was already causing involuntary muscle contractions.  It was so cold that I felt like George Costanza in the Seinfeld episode when Jerry’s girlfriend walks in on George changing.  “There was shrinkage”.   Crawling through the mud, more cold, more rocks in my arms and legs.  It’s getting closer, keep going.  I was basically numb from the cold.  The cold was the hardest part and only added to the challenge.  We got though the barbed wire and finished the race by slamming into the Gladiator at the end of the race.  We decided to dish something out on someone else.

Now for the hard part.  Get our “After” picture taken for Dial.  Fortunately, Curtis the Dial rep was  close to the finish line so we got the picture pretty quickly.  Next we had to wash off and get pictures taken again.  The cold became unbearable.  Standing around soaking ass wet holding a bottle of Dial Speed Body Wash (We did get to keep the Body Wash).  That’s not a smile on my face, I’m freezing and my damn teeth are chattering.

When my mom asked me about it and I told her about the race, she said, “that sounds horrible.  Why would you do that?”  I said, “Horrible? It was amazing, I had a blast.”  This is how I know that I am alive.  Why do I like pain?  I like the challenge. I like the accomplishment.  Your mind will quit before your body does.  How much further can you push your mind?  I’m not quitting and hopefully I will keep my balls intact.  Thanks for the soap.

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